By Ruthie Barrows

Julie A. Fast writes about Mental Health to her readers. In one of her articles she specifically addresses bipolar disease saying…

When you fell in love with your partner, you probably didn’t expect that bipolar disorder would play such a large role in your relationship. Maintaining a loving relationship has enough problems as it is, without having to deal with bipolar disorder and its troubles as well.

It’s normal that you might feel cheated, angry, sad, or worried. You didn’t ask for this. This is not your illness, and yet you must live with it every day. The emotions this reality causes can be intense.

For someone in your situation, intense feelings are completely normal, but they may feel out of control to you. Bipolar disorder—especially when it’s untreated—can be like an uninvited, unwelcome guest. It can affect your ability to travel with your partner.

Sex often becomes extremely complicated. You may lose your social life, or you may become stressed and depressed yourself.

That set of circumstances can lead to a lot of emotions you may not want to feel, but the fact of the matter is this: they are often part of being a partner of a person with un-managed bipolar disorder.

There are serious points Maggie Ethridge listed on her blog that everyone with a bipolar relative or spouse should consider and take very seriously. They are;

1. When your spouse or relative is diagnosed, you won’t know what’s coming.

2. Your spouse or relative may not know he or she is ill.

3. Your spouse or relative may not have the same ideas as you about how to get treatment.

4. You will struggle with letting go.

5. You will feel guilty.

6. The medication might not work.

7. Throw “should” out the door and accept what “is.”

8. You will need to re-learn that taking care of yourself is important.

9. Don’t let your relationship become all about the illness.

10. It’s not your spouse or relative’s fault he or she is sick.

Business and mental illness

Business executives do not care if they generate earnings from sound members of society or the disabled. As long as they can get a sale, they do not care who initiates the deal or if that customer is sound of mind.

One such sale went haywire recently when the customer who is disabled, was convinced by a mortgage lender, to give up a 15 year mortgage that only had 8 years and 4 months remaining on it in exchange for a 30 year mortgage.

Since the incident occurred in the state of Florida where both spouses must agree to decisions affecting the homestead, the sale could not go through.

The salesperson was relentless even after being informed by the customer’s family that the customer was not well and could not transact the mortgage on behalf of the family as the illness was recognized by an appropriate medical professional specialist.

Once a company/corporation has been informed that the sale is in jeopardy or inappropriate, it is routine that the business will make a decision that best supports their earnings – they rarely decide on the side of what’s best for the family. Keep that in mind as you defend your family’s legal position.

In the State of Florida, a home for instance can be in either spouse’s name but in order to make any changes on the property such as changing the mortgage, both spouses must agree on the change.

You would think that logic and reason would kick in at the corporate level when a customer suffering from Asberger’s, schizophrenia, bipolar disease or any other dual-diagnosis mental health condition is identified but that is not the case.

The mortgage company will continue calling the disabled spouse even after the mortgage company’s legal department recognizes that the disabled spouse is unable to transact due to illness.

Instead of leaving the family in peace, the sales person will continue calling the disabled party. Unfortunately, you can’t count on a business to “do the right thing.”  Make sure you have every possible aid at hand and at the ready so that you can defend your family’s best interests.


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